Saturday, February 27, 2010

Have a Break !!!!!!!!

Ek Cheeta Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek chuhawahan aaya aur bola : "Mere bhai chod do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho". Cheetay ne ek lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.

Want Visa, Contact Hanuman Ji...

Well, I'm not saying this... just quoting this ad.
Now, whosoever has read about USP, niche marketing... etc etc... I dare to challenge all of them if you ever imagined this can be used here too...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Al-Gebra movement

 A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bijness is Bijness

In a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Computers in English Movies

1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit
data at two gigabytes per second.

3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the 
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also 

Driving in India - Tip #6

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rain waters to recede when overground traffic meets underground drainage.

Driving in India - Tip #5

Blowing your horn may be a sign of protest in some countries but in India. 

We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the street or market. 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #4

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or had come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #3

Most Drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself.

Except for a belief in reincanation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #2

To drive in India, you must trust your instincts, ascertain the direction and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Indo-Pak Series....Too good !!

1. During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet Satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.
2. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.
3. This was the scenario................

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #1

Do we drive on the left or right of the road?

The answer is "both".

Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap,as in chess.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oye Gurmukh...Gurmukh Oye

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!"

New Blog for for those who loves to see Nature's gift to Mankind

Hi All, We have launched a brand new blog... Images of Incredible India.

Must visit.....Pics on the post will give peace, tranquility & serenity to your mind.

Six Classic Affairs

Six Classic Affairs
The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" his wife demanded."I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard!You've been playing golf!"

Sardar Strikes again !!!!!

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

Nothing but all bakwas !!!!!

Saddam Hussein visits God and asks him: " God, When shall I see the defeat of USA? "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussein starts crying and goes away.

Gen. Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him:
" God,
when shall I see the
capture of Kashmir by Pakistan."
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime".
Hearing this, Gen. Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.

Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:" God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state ?"
Hearing this, God starts crying.
Laloo is astounded and asks:" God, why are you crying? "
God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime!?!"

This is Intelligence

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner....who lives with a room mate, a girl named Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Driving In India - a Few Tips

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I will be offering a few hints for survival in the coming days. These survival tips are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

When driving in India, one should always remember that Indian road-rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Incredible India - Dainik Batoula unearths The Ancient River Saraswati

The cradle of Harappan Civilisation, the ancient river Saraswati, has disappeared from earth is what has been told to us since childhood. True, but only partially... as it still runs beneath the earth's crust, as proven by ISRO scientists & ASI in their joint research over the years. The route connects all the Harrapan Towns e.g. Mohanjodaro, Rakhigadhi, Lothal, Kalibanga etc. The river runs through present day Uttaranchal, Haryana, Rajasthan, Sindh(now in Pakistan) & Gujrat before merginginto Arabian Sea.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Coming Soon : A new blog on Travels to India

Hi All,
We are soon launching a brand new blog... Images of Incredible India.