Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Increase your CQ (cultural intelligence) : how to use the eastern style latrine.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Sweet Child O' Mine - Indian Style

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I Fuckin' Love Coloring

Afgani Joke

I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbour, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Gujrati Joke

An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

South Indian Joke

Two South Indian men get on a bus. As it is not possible in India not to talk to the next person in the bus, these guys also sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

Monday, March 22, 2010

Quote : Henry Miller

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Henry Miller

Reasons why children are adorable

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Latest Trailer of "Avatar - The Last Airbender"

Here is the latest trailer of the movie based on one of my favourite television series - "Avatar - The Last Airbender":

Friday, March 19, 2010

Sunrise at Fagu, Shimla | Images of Incredible India

Sunrise at Fagu, Shimla | Images of Incredible India

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Thief Catcher

A machine was invented in Japan to catch thieves & was sent all around the world for display.

In US : in 40 minutes, it caught 20 thieves.

In UK : in 30 minutes, it caught 35 thieves.

In Russia : in 20 minutes, it caught 40 thieves.

In India : in 15 minutes, the machine was stolen !!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Top Reason Why Pirates Rule

Monday, March 15, 2010

Computers : Male or Female?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

Salesman Santa Singh

Santa Singh moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager asks: Do you have any sales experience?
The guy, Yeah, I was a salesman back home.
The manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job.

'You start from tomorrow! I'll come down after close time and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice.
If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea ?

Of course, the young man said.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down. How many sales did you make today?
The guy said: One.
The manager groans, just one? Our other salesmen average 20 or 30 sales a day.

How much was the sale for?
The guy said: 101,237.64 US dollars.
The manager exclaims, what? 101,237.64 Dollars?' What did you sell him?

The guy said, first I sold him a small fishhook.
Then sold him a medium fishhook.
Then I sold a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast,
so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull the new boat.
So I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 BMW.

The manager says, you mean a guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat and truck?
The guy said: No! NO! NO!  He came in to buy a box of Kotex for his wife and I said:
Well, since your weekend is obviously f**ked up, you might as well go fishing!!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

10 more interesting facts about India

11. The world's highest cricket ground is in Chail, Himachal Pradesh. Built in 1893 after levelling a hilltop, this cricket pitch is 2444 meters above sea level.

12. India has the largest number of Post Offices in the world.

13. The largest employer in the world is the Indian Railways, employing over a million people.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Why husbands avoid answers!!!

Why husbands avoid answers!!!

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!
WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

Sunday, March 7, 2010

10 interesting facts about India

1. India never invaded any country in her last 100000 years of history. 

2. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).

3. The name 'India' is derived from the River Indus, the valleys around which were the home of the early settlers. The Aryan worshippers referred to the river Indus as the Sindhu.


Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. 
“Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”.
 The mysterious Man answered, “This isn’t your bedroom and

Divert Your Course!

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Friday, March 5, 2010

Apple iPad Gen 2 - iPad with Wings

Apparently, Apple will soon be coming with the iPad Gen 2. Will come with wings, to secure it to any object, absorbent, in case you spill coffee and with extra battery to allow users freedom to use overnight, and outdoors as they play tennis, go swimming, horse-riding or camping...

Following are some of the prototypes that have been leaked from Apple's secret lab:


Bono of Contention

Bono, the lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the Entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Driving in India - Tip #8

The trucks are more visible during the daytime, except that the drivers will never show any signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals - they are a greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner that sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an expression of physical relief on a hot day. 

Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking coloured lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans or hymns. This pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Driving in India - Tip #7

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental make-up of Genghis Khan). 
In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought. 
Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and they are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Moral of the story is....

A taxi passenger wanted to ask a question from the driver & so he just tapped the driver on the shoulder and said ,"Excuse me..".

The driver suddenly screamed..., lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Have a Break !!!!!!!!

Ek Cheeta Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek chuhawahan aaya aur bola : "Mere bhai chod do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho". Cheetay ne ek lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.

Want Visa, Contact Hanuman Ji...

Well, I'm not saying this... just quoting this ad.
Now, whosoever has read about USP, niche marketing... etc etc... I dare to challenge all of them if you ever imagined this can be used here too...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Al-Gebra movement

 A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bijness is Bijness

In a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Computers in English Movies

1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit
data at two gigabytes per second.

3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the 
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also 

Driving in India - Tip #6

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rain waters to recede when overground traffic meets underground drainage.

Driving in India - Tip #5

Blowing your horn may be a sign of protest in some countries but in India. 

We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the street or market. 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #4

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or had come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #3

Most Drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself.

Except for a belief in reincanation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #2

To drive in India, you must trust your instincts, ascertain the direction and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Indo-Pak Series....Too good !!

1. During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet Satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.
2. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.
3. This was the scenario................

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Driving in India - Tip #1

Do we drive on the left or right of the road?

The answer is "both".

Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap,as in chess.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oye Gurmukh...Gurmukh Oye

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!"

New Blog for for those who loves to see Nature's gift to Mankind

Hi All, We have launched a brand new blog... Images of Incredible India.

Must visit.....Pics on the post will give peace, tranquility & serenity to your mind.

Six Classic Affairs

Six Classic Affairs
The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" his wife demanded."I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard!You've been playing golf!"

Sardar Strikes again !!!!!

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

Nothing but all bakwas !!!!!

Saddam Hussein visits God and asks him: " God, When shall I see the defeat of USA? "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussein starts crying and goes away.

Gen. Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him:
" God,
when shall I see the
capture of Kashmir by Pakistan."
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime".
Hearing this, Gen. Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.

Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:" God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state ?"
Hearing this, God starts crying.
Laloo is astounded and asks:" God, why are you crying? "
God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime!?!"

This is Intelligence

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner....who lives with a room mate, a girl named Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Driving In India - a Few Tips

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I will be offering a few hints for survival in the coming days. These survival tips are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

When driving in India, one should always remember that Indian road-rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Incredible India - Dainik Batoula unearths The Ancient River Saraswati

The cradle of Harappan Civilisation, the ancient river Saraswati, has disappeared from earth is what has been told to us since childhood. True, but only partially... as it still runs beneath the earth's crust, as proven by ISRO scientists & ASI in their joint research over the years. The route connects all the Harrapan Towns e.g. Mohanjodaro, Rakhigadhi, Lothal, Kalibanga etc. The river runs through present day Uttaranchal, Haryana, Rajasthan, Sindh(now in Pakistan) & Gujrat before merginginto Arabian Sea.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Coming Soon : A new blog on Travels to India

Hi All,
We are soon launching a brand new blog... Images of Incredible India.