Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbour, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
Monday, March 29, 2010
An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
12. India has the largest number of Post Offices in the world.
13. The largest employer in the world is the Indian Railways, employing over a million people.
Monday, March 8, 2010
WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!
WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'
Sunday, March 7, 2010
2. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).
3. The name 'India' is derived from the River Indus, the valleys around which were the home of the early settlers. The Aryan worshippers referred to the river Indus as the Sindhu.
Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”
Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Apparently, Apple will soon be coming with the iPad Gen 2. Will come with wings, to secure it to any object, absorbent, in case you spill coffee and with extra battery to allow users freedom to use overnight, and outdoors as they play tennis, go swimming, horse-riding or camping...
Following are some of the prototypes that have been leaked from Apple's secret lab:
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking coloured lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans or hymns. This pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought.
Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and they are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
|A taxi passenger wanted to ask a question from the driver & so he just tapped the driver on the shoulder and said ,"Excuse me..".|
The driver suddenly screamed..., lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Now, whosoever has read about USP, niche marketing... etc etc... I dare to challenge all of them if you ever imagined this can be used here too...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."
Sunday, February 21, 2010
1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. 2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second. 3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building. 4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself.
Except for a belief in reincanation, the other drivers are not in any better position.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
2. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.
3. This was the scenario................
The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The answer is "both".
Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap,as in chess.
Friday, February 12, 2010
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!"
Hi All, We have launched a brand new blog... Images of Incredible India.
Must visit.....Pics on the post will give peace, tranquility & serenity to your mind.
The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" his wife demanded."I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard!You've been playing golf!"
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussein starts crying and goes away.
Gen. Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him:
when shall I see the
capture of Kashmir by Pakistan."
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime".
Hearing this, Gen. Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:" God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state ?"
Hearing this, God starts crying.
Laloo is astounded and asks:" God, why are you crying? "
God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime!?!"
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I will be offering a few hints for survival in the coming days. These survival tips are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.
When driving in India, one should always remember that Indian road-rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company.