Sweet Child O' Mine - Indian Style

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I Fuckin' Love Coloring

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Afgani Joke

I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbour, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

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Wife is a wife

A Wife is a Wife,
no matter who
THE HELL
you are!!

Bullshit Bingo

Bono of Contention

Bono, the lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the Entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Driving in India - Tip #8

The trucks are more visible during the daytime, except that the drivers will never show any signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals - they are a greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner that sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an expression of physical relief on a hot day. 

Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking coloured lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans or hymns. This pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Driving in India - Tip #7

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental make-up of Genghis Khan). 
In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought. 
Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and they are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

Computers in English Movies

1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit
data at two gigabytes per second.

3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the 
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also