Bullshit Bingo

Driving in India - Tip #7

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental make-up of Genghis Khan). 
In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a nought. 
Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and they are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motor-bike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

Driving in India - Tip #4

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or had come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Driving in India - Tip #3

Most Drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself.

Except for a belief in reincanation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

Driving in India - Tip #2

To drive in India, you must trust your instincts, ascertain the direction and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. 

Driving In India - a Few Tips

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I will be offering a few hints for survival in the coming days. These survival tips are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

When driving in India, one should always remember that Indian road-rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company.